If I Can't Have You: A Compulsive, Darkly Funny Story of Heartbreak and Obsession

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Jennifer called Kiirsi Hellewell, Susan's best friend, who lived down the street from the Powells. Kiirsi hadn't talked to Susan since Sunday, when they had walked home from church together. In If I Can't Have You, bestselling author Gregg Olsen and co-author Rebecca Morris investigate one of the 21st Century's most puzzling disappearances and how it resulted in the murder of two children by their father. So this is a story about obsession, grief and cruel manipulation. Constance has recently lost her mum to the big C (cancer, not covid) it wasn't pretty, and her young mind has been ruined by it. However Samuel's sense of entitlement, self-importance and arrogance as well as his inability to see the depth of his treatment of not only Constance, but women in general, speaks volumes as to the type of man he is. Why is it that these are the men who attract the most vulnerable kind of woman? They fall for his charm, his smile, the way he makes them laugh all without seeing that he is really laughing at them not with them. He comes from a world of entitlement and privilege and is used to getting what he wants and then justifying his disgraceful actions by accusing women of being sulky and clingy who dare to mistake sexual intimacy as a relationship when all he is really after is a good time.

Word spread among friends and church members that the Powell family was missing. In the early afternoon Kiirsi sent a text message to JoVonna Owings, who knew Susan from the church choir. Susan's family (I'm clearly referring to the Coxes here) have suffered nearly more than one can possibly conceive. This book has two major flaws. First, there's just not enough material to make this book of this length interesting. We all know that poor Susan Powell is dead and we all know it was because of her husband, Josh, and an undetermined number of his creepy family members. But because Susan's body has never been found, her husband can never be brought to justice by a trial, and none of the remaining Powells are talking, there's not really too much to write about. This is a debut! But you would never know. The writing is flawless - some stunning sentences that showed an intelligent side to Constance that she was not credited for by her peers.Josh Powell didn't know it, but he'd just nailed the trifecta, the traits of those who kill their spouses. It was so obvious. JoVonna was frustrated. "No, she's not at work. We're really worried, Josh. You didn't go to work."

If I Can’t Have You is an exceptional debut novel and Charlotte Levin really brings Constance Little to life, warts and all. She’s created a character that the reader feels all the emotions for. Whilst we can’t quite agree with some of her actions, we understand why she does the things she does. She has bottled up her deep feelings about her parents and never faced up to the loss and grief properly which has caused her to behave in the way she does.

Josh finally signed a consent form authorizing a search of his van. In the vehicle they found the electric generator, blankets, a gas can, tarps, and a shovel. They also recovered a circular saw, a humidifier, at least two knives, a tripod, a newly opened box of latex gloves, and a rake, but did not disclose the existence of those items for more than three years.

This book follows all the twists and turns of the Susan Powell disappearance and the fallout that occurred because of that. I fully admit that I was buried deep in grad school world when this happened, so I COMPLETELY missed all news stories about this at the time. So I genuinely had no idea where it was all going as I read it. Let's be clear here: the victims of Josh's horrific acts are Susan's family and her friends. Josh never was a victim, even though some might try to scapegoat his father for Josh's behavior. This is wrong. Though Steve is clearly an evil man and a horrible father and human being who deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail, Josh is wholly responsible for what he did. There are many, many cases of people who overcame massive personal struggles to become good and successful people. Josh obviously did not try to rise above his tortured childhood. He not only was a narcissistic, cowardly, monster, he reveled in his evilness. He chose to kill his entire family. Though his sister and father will doubtlessly keep trying to convince the media that Josh was the victim of a conspiracy by the media and the LDS church (which is, yes, just as ridiculous as it sounds), they are wrong. Josh was purely evil.

I read this book in three days, not just because of the book's extreme readability, but because I couldn't stand to be a part of the evil of the events described therein for much longer than that. Maxwell asks Josh more pointedly if he is worried about Susan. For years to come, the West Valley City police would say that Josh never acted concerned about Susan, didn't ask about the investigation into her disappearance, and never helped look for her.

When asked why he hadn't answered his cell phone during the day, Josh said he had kept it off to preserve the battery. He said he didn't have a cell charger. Plus they were out in the desert where there was no service. Detective Maxwell, a solidly built man with a dark crew cut, mustache, and ruddy complexion, had fifteen years on the force but this would be the most complicated and trying case of his career. Maxwell leaned through the window of the minivan and saw one phone on the center consul plugged into a charger. He also noted a second cell phone—later determined to be Susan's—in the van. Josh didn't have an answer as to why his wife's phone was in the car. Thank you to Pigeonhole, Charlotte Levin and Pan McMillan for this free digital ARC, in exchange for my honest opinion!Looks like the author has experienced the loss of loved ones too, as towards the middle she described an intensive mourning process in a very touching way, like only those having suffered a serious loss are able to. After being trapped by the police in his driveway, Josh followed Detective Maxwell to the West Valley City Police Department to tell his story once more. The police wanted Charlie and Braden to come to the station, too. They say there's a fine line between love and hate. But I don't think there's a line at all. They're the same thing. What we love we hate for loving. What makes us more vulnerable than love? What hurts as much?"